Index︎THEIA︎UMBRAA (Urban-Military Bridging to Realtime Autonomous Activity)

The below conversation presented without comment.

Meeting minutes, opening session of the first meeting of the ad-hoc Spontaneous Strategic Interface Group 
AFC Heidelburg
17 July 2036
TW: So we all know why we’re here.
FG: What is this...thing.
TW: HSCOI-DARPA moonshot shit. 
RK: It looks fucking ridiculous. It looks like shit my kid plays with.
TW: Yeah, well, if your kid has a $8 billion toy budget. Shut the fuck up.
RK: ...
FG: So, really, what is it?
TW: I’m going to say it...
RK: Please don’t.
TW: The war. Lagos.
RK: Ugh.
FG: My kingdom to block that shit from my memory.
TW: Ok, but specifically, we’re here today to talk about a very specific topic. I know you’ve all by now at least glanced at the THEIA timeline. And when I say glanced at it, I mean seen it’s utter shit. Nonsense. Doesn’t add up.
RK: To put it mildly.
FG: What...
TW: Everyone, say hi to PHAETON.
RK: I swear, who comes up with these names...
FG: Read something other than field manuals, Jesus...
TW: PHAETON is no one new. PHAETON is THEIA. Kind of. THEIA was nice enough to give up part of herself—specifically, her runtime info from—
RK: Ugh.
TW: —the night. That night.
FG: So.
TW: Yes. We’re running through the whole thing. From the very beginning to the very end.
RK: All 8 hours?
FG: This is going to take forever.
TW: It’s necessary. We have to answer. The UN is making an inquiry.
RK: Can’t we just do the American thing and ignore it?
FG: We didn’t have to do this when we dropped the hammer on Ukraine.
TW: That was a bit different.
RK: I was right about this thing being a toy.
TW: You are a bug to THEIA.
FG: And to me.
RK: Shut up.
TW: You trying to speak to her would be like a amoeba trying to talk to you. Think of this as a translation. This is how we talk to THEIA.
FG: Metatron.
TW: Talking to God.
RK: You guys are so lame.
TW: It’s true.
RK: Can’t wait to hear what this thing’s name is...
TW: U.M.B.R.A.A. Umbra. Urban-Military Bridging to Realtime Autonomous Activity.
RK: What a fucking mouthful.